Seifer's New Car
by Vick330
Summary: Our friend Seifer has a new love for St-Valentine's Day, but will it jeopardize his relationship with his sweet Fujin? A tale about what really matters in life ^_^ *complete*
1. The Mjolnir-JT

************ Seifer's New Car ************

A Seifu by Vick330

_***** Disclaimer *****_

I haven't received a restraining order from Squaresoft yet, so I guess they are OK with this. And if they are not, here it goes: I don't own FF8, yadda, yadda, yadda, and all that assorted legal mumbo-jumbo, whatever.

Inspired by a very good, close friend of mine, whose love for his car is only surpassed by the beauty of his generous and loyal heart (but not by much! Heehee! ^_^). - And yes, he knows about this, and won't run me over with his car in retaliation, mainly because I told him that bloodstains are bad for the paintjob.

********** ********** **********

******* I - The Mjolnir-JT *******

"Hehehe, losers." Said Seifer aloud, as he thought of the cars of his acquaintances. He was beaming with pride at his new acquisition.

The object of his joy was a black _Mjolnir-JT_, with turbo-injection, the works when it came to equipment, and state of the art technology. He had just picked it up that morning, at the _Esthar-Motors_ dealership.

The tall man carefully, and lovingly passed a soft handkerchief on the car's shiny paintjob, wiping offensive dust. He lovingly admired its sensuous, aerodynamic curves, its sparkling chrome bumpers, and magnificent rear-spoiler.

Hadn't he be concerned about the corrosive effects of saliva, he would have actually kissed every part of the vehicle, showing how much he was in love with it.

He looked skywards and shouted in alarm, "FUJIN!"

The young woman came running, her _Shuriken_ at the ready, "WHAT DANGER!"

"There!" said Seifer, pointing.

"???"       O_#   [ #  is the eye-patch ]

"What are you waiting for? Kill it before it vandalizes my car!" Exclaimed the blond guy.

All Fujin could see was a small bird, on a telephone wire in front of the house.

"YOU LOST IT" She exclaimed.

Seifer was not convinced, "I'm telling you, it's waiting to release its little intestines on my beautiful _Mjolnir-JT_."

Fujin rolled her eye and went inside the house, wondering for the thousandth time why she put up with her man's eccentricities.

The bird finally flew away. The car-owner watched it suspiciously, hoping that this was not some kind of deception on the part of the little bugger.

He heard the sound of loud Rap music, and a bright-yellow coupe, with black flames painted on the hood and sides stopped in front of his driveway. Zell Dincht jumped out and greeted him, "Hey Seifer. WHOA! What a beauty! Mind if I take it for a spin..."

Zell stopped dead in his tracks, the blade of Hyperion at his neck, "Not a step further!" Warned Seifer.

The martial artist stepped back, "Whoa, whoa! Take it easy big guy. Sheesh, it's just a car after all."

"JUST A CAR?" Exploded Seifer, "This is a _Mjolnir-JT_! Fully equipped! And you dare call it, 'just a car?'"

_Oh, man!_ - Thought Zell, "Listen, we're all meeting at _The Balamb's Café_ later on. The guys wanted to know if Fuji and you are interested."

"No way!" spat Seifer.

"YES!" Came Fujin's answer from inside the house.

"We'll be there," Corrected the tall guy, "See you later."

Zell left in a detonation of poorly maintained machinery and ear-shattering music, leaving Mr.Almasy to his car worshipping.

Little did they all suspect that things would get really interesting...in a weird and demented kind of way.

**************

To Be Continued


	2. At the Balamb Café

******* II - At _The Balamb's Café_ *******

In front of the establishment were parked several vehicles. There was Irvine's bright-red _Mustang_ convertible, with a Powerpuff Girl key-chain adorning the rear-view mirror (Buttercup, because her dark hair and green eyes reminded him of Selphie).

Squall and Rinoa had opted for a blue minivan, which came in handy with their newborn baby, Lagos (named after his granddaddy). Quistis silver _Ulti-SC_, which was a popular compact hatchback, was also there.

Zell's yellow and black coupe was beside Raijin's _Harley_. The big guy's motorcycle harbored two helmets, for he had hooked up with Xu lately.

Selphie, who was so good at piloting the _Ragnarok_, was under a permanent legal interdiction when it came to driving on solid ground. It was all due to a few _unfortunate incidents_, and a _little misunderstanding_ with the authorities – according to Miss Tilmitt. She didn't care that much anyway, mostly because Irvine drove her wherever she wanted.

They all turned their heads, as they saw Fujin and Seifer pushing his old _Rextaur-Alenz_ into the parking lot. The albino woman was very obviously not happy at her husband, who made a show of locking the wreck carefully before offering his arm to her.

Fujin not only brushed him off, but also shot Seifer such a death-glare that they all thought that if she had had two eyes, the poor guy would have been turned to dust on the spot.

There was actually steam coming from under the _Rextaur-Alenz_'s hood. An alarming puddle, of some gooey substance, was also forming underneath it.

"Hi guys." Greeted Seifer cheerfully, while Fujin took a seat as far away from him as possible.

"Say, Partner," Inquired Irvine, "Don't yah just got yerself one of those new _Mjolnir-JT_s?"

"Yeah, but I'll never bring it into THIS neighborhood, much too dangerous around here." Replied the blond man.

Rinoa started at this, "What are you talking about? We live two blocks away, and never had any problems."

Seifer looked at the dark-haired woman, "Well, Rinoa. You were the one that told me that your car got scratched in front of your apartment."

She rolled her eyes, before responding, "That was when I lived in Timber, and there was a war going on at the time, by Hyne!"

He was unconvinced, "That only proves that you tend to live in bad neighborhoods, with high criminality rates."

They all looked at the _gunblade_ specialist in disbelief. With some measure of amusement at Seifer's attitude, Zell decided to add his two cents.

The martial artist intervened, "Come on. I live near here too, and nobody has ever touched my car."

"That's because it's an old thing," Answered Seifer, "And no self-respecting thief would even consider getting near it."

The martial artist was not that easily dismissed, "And what about that piece of junk you call a car? You would have to PAY a thief to take it, and even then you would be hard put to find a sucker."  ^_&^  [ & is Zell's tattoo ]

"He! I'll have you know that the _Rextaur-Alenz_ is a classic, and it still runs like a charm," Replied Seifer defensively, "I could probably get a good 5000 Gil for it."

At this they all burst out in laughter, even Squall and Fujin. Zell and Selphie actually fell from their chairs, holding their sides.

Quistis managed to regain some self-control. After breathing deeply a couple of times, she told a very offended Seifer, "You got to be kidding!" ***laugher*** "You'll be lucky if it makes it to the junkyard!" ***cries from laughing*** "Poor Fujin had to push that thing here, for Hyne's sake!" ***chokes from laughter***

The blond man's face went a colorful red shade, "It just overheated a little. These things have to be treated with the utmost care. I'm ready to bet that I can still drive it to Deling City and back, several times."

Raijin remarked, "Yeah, yah know! With Fujin pushing it back and forth, yah know!"

This sent all present into another fit of hilarity, and earned the dark guy a playful punch from the albino woman. Seifer's frown deepened even more…

Xu wiped tears from her eyes, "Good one, Raij! No offense Fuji, but why do you put up with this? You guys have a brand new car, by Orlandu's nose-hairs!" ***laughter*** "And you're still driving in that old piece of trash?" ***nearly falls of her chair***

Seifer got up, obviously frustrated at his friends' lack of common sense in this matter, "Come Fuji, we don't have to stay here and be insulted in such a brainless fashion."

"NEGATIVE." Replied the fair woman, grinning, looking at Seifer then at the _Rextaur-Alenz_, and finally collapsing on the table from laughter.

The tall, blond man walked out on the parking lot, with all the dignity he could muster. Once inside the car all his efforts to get it started were unsuccessful, and so he proceeded to push it home. He did his best to ignore the hilarity of his so-called friends, and his traitorous wife.

But the evening was not over – not by a long shot...

**************

To Be Continued


	3. From Bad To Worse

******* III - From Bad To Worse *******

Quistis gave a ride back home to Fujin. The young woman found her man snoring on a chair in the driveway, besides the _Mjolnir-JT_.

She hadn't gone five steps when he suddenly awoke. He jumped up, unsheathing his _gunblade_ and taking a defensive position in front of the car.

"IT'S ME!" She announced in alarm.

Seifer looked at her suspiciously. Once he was satisfied with her identity, he finally put his weapon away.

"CRAZY!" She complained.

"Come on, Baby," Explained Seifer, "You know how dangerous Balamb has gotten lately, I'm just taking a few precautions."

"OUT OF HAND!" She said, quickly losing patience.

He looked at her tenderly, grinning in his charming way that usually won her over, "Say, Honey, would you mind taking a turn of guard, while I go to the bathroom, get some rest, and eat something?"

Her good eye widened and her jaw dropped in shock. This was the legendary drop that made the pool overflow.

She walked inside the house, threw him a bucket yelling, "USE THIS!" and then made it follow by a loaf of bread, a bottle of _Lunar-Base Brewsky_ (The beer with a taste out of this world), and a piece of cheese.

"Er, thank you." Said Seifer, as his wife banged the door and went to bed.

_'He'll snap out of it by tomorrow...'_ Said Fujin to herself, more concerned than mad at her beloved's obsession.

The poor Fujin didn't suspect it at the time, but her man would get more and more obsessed and paranoid in the following days...

Seifer's attitude was getting worrisome. All he did was guard and/or worry about the _Mjolnir-JT_. They couldn't actually drive anywhere, for Seifer considered all destinations way too hazardous.

"SHOPPING MALL" She pleaded, for they needed clothing and a new blender.

"No way, it's packed with cars, and someone could drive into the _Mjolnir-JT_." He responded.

"GROCERIES" She insisted, because the supermarket was far, and their reserves had gotten dangerously low.

"Huh-huh! Forget it! With all those shopping carts, it's a sure bet that the paint will get chipped." Was his stance.

"NEED RIDE" She begged.

Seifer rolled his eyes, "Are you out of your mind? I heard that Selphie got her driver's license back, so it's not safe out on the streets."

Fujin was so upset that she said more than three words in a row, "SHE LIVES IN TRABIA!"

"Well, with her sense of direction she might end up in Balamb. I'm not ready to take that risk." He concluded firmly.

The worst of all was that her husband had tried to get the _Rextaur-Alenz_ repaired. He had reasoned that it was the only way to keep the _Mjolnir-JT_ safe. The mechanic at the car-shop had burst out in laughter, thinking that someone had put Seifer up to it.

Mr.Almasy had NOT been amused. Fujin had intervened, and just barely managed to save the poor guy's life. 

But what had to happen, finally happened...

**************

To Be Continued


	4. The Car Thief & Epilogue

******* IV - The Car Thief *******

Fujin had gone to spend the day with Rinoa. Seifer had to resolve himself to leave the Mjolnir-JT without proper surveillance for a few minutes, while he showered and shaved. He was looking more and more like a crazy hillbilly, and Fujin had warned him to either groom himself or spend the rest of his days in the driveway.

And so, our friend entered his house and stepped into the shower.

That was the break Dr.Odine, turned car thief, had been waiting for.

The crazy so-called scientist had to leave Esthar in a hurry. President Loire had finally realized that kidnapping little kids - like Ellone - to experiment on them was NOT acceptable. [I'm still not over that btw]

And so, that poor excuse for a human being had embarked in a new career of crime, adding to the depravity of his despicable life [In case you are wondering, YES! I HATE the guy!]. Anyway, Odine quickly disarmed the alarm and antitheft systems, jump-started the car, and drove away with it.

At that moment, Rinoa and Squall were driving Fujin back home at great speed. They were all in an alarmed state of concern for Seifer, for they had heard some fearful news about his new vehicle. 

They had almost reached her house... and then they saw the Mjolnir-JT back out of the driveway, speed away from them and...

***** KABOOOOOOM!!! *****

...The car exploded in a thunderous display of flying components, flames, body parts, and blood [YUCK! _ ].

Squall stopped the minivan, and Fujin ran to the wreck. She was crying and in a total state of despair.

"SEIFER! NO!" She yelled in shock, convinced that it was her beloved inside the burning vehicle.

Meanwhile, Seifer had heard the detonation. He stepped out of the shower, and dressed in a hurry to make sure that his precious car was all right.

Not seeing the _Mjolnir-JT_ in the driveway, he ran and stopped in the middle of the street. There he witnessed the gruesome scene. The realization of what had just happened hit him hard, rooting him to the spot.

"Fujin!" He managed to call to his wife, his concern for her overriding all else. 

"SEIFER!" She exclaimed and hurried to him. She wrapped her arms around his body, squeezing him tight.

He returned the gesture, soothingly reassuring her, "It's all right, Fuji. It's all right."

"You're alive…you're alive…" She repeated softly over and over, as tears of relief ran down her cheeks.

***** ***** *****

Once inside the house, a still shaking Seifer inquired, "Will somebody tell me what exactly happened out there?"

Rinoa explained, "Fuji and I were watching TV, when there was this special newscast. It would seem that a design error, in this year's _Mjolnir-JT_'s, could cause them to explode. You were lucky not to have driven it too much, or we would not be having this conversation."

Squall continued, "We tried to phone, but there was no answer. We drove here as fast as we could to warn you."

Fujin was sitting on her man's lap, hugging him lovingly. She didn't want to let go of him, not even for a moment. The fear of having almost lost him was still very much present in her heart.

******* Epilogue *******

To Fujin's relief, things went back to normality - as it had been before Seifer had brought the accursed _Mjolnir-JT_ into their lives.

One fine day, as she got back home from work, there was a brand new car (a regular utilitarian one) parked on the street in front of the house. A satisfied-looking Seifer was admiring it.

"WHAT IS THIS?" She asked.

"Because of what happened with the _Mjolnir-JT_, the company will give us a new car every three years for life. Provided that we don't sue of course."

Noticing Fujin's deepening frown he reassured her, "Don't worry, Baby. I had my lesson, and from now on I'll never go crazy again. That's why I chose us this little beauty here."

"NOT A _MJOLNIR-JT_?" She said surprised, as they walked towards the house.

He smiled, "No, never, ever again. I was so stupid to care so much for what was only a car. Will you ever forgive me for acting so foolishly?"

"I ALREADY DID." She answered, kissing him affectionately.

"How about a ride to try the car out?" He offered.

"GO WHERE?" asked Fujin.

"Wherever you want baby, wherever you w..." He didn't have time to finish his sentence.

*** VERY LOUD BANG! ***

They both jumped and then turned around. There was Selphie Tilmitt at the wheel of Irvine's _Mustang_, the front of which had gotten imbedded in the back of their new car. Miraculously, the spirited brunette wasn't hurt.

"HI-YAAAAAAAAAAA!" She saluted merrily, "I, hum, seem to have gotten lost. Sorr-ee! Tee-Hee!"

"JUST A CAR" Reminded Fujin.

Yes - it was just a car after all... ^_~

******** THE END *******


End file.
